Thursday, October 30, 2008
General Graphics Format Questions+Image Conversion and Display Programs+Where to Get File Format Specifications+ Tips and Tricks of the Trade
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
High Definition Video
High-definition video
High-definition (HD) video generally refers to any video system of higher resolution than standard-definition (SD) video, most commonly at display resolutions of 1280×720 (720p) or 1920×1080 (1080i or 1080p). This article discusses the general concepts of high-definition video, as opposed to its specific applications in television broadcast (HDTV), video recording formats (HDCAM, HDCAM-SR, DVCPRO HD, D5 HD, XDCAM HD, HDV and AVCHD), the optical disc delivery system Blu-ray Disc and the video tape format D-VHS.
History
The developmental era (1948 - 1970s): low definition TV as high definition TV
From a historical perspective, NTSC or System-M was the first HD television transmission format.
System-M held the high definition video monopoly from 1948-1956. The only other existing TV broadcast systems in Europe at the time used either 405 lines (UK, also referred to as System-A) or 441 lines (France, but no system designator was ever issued).
When the Europeans standardized on using 625 lines with either PAL and SECAM as the colour standard. Essentially PAL became the globally available high definition video format. The French tried an 819 line system that was Monochrome only, but abandoned it due to interoperability issues and lack of adoption in other countries other than Belgium.
1980s: Great technological leaps into dead ends
Original HD specifications date back to the early 1980s, when Japan developed the HighVision 1125-line TV standard (also called MUSE) that ran at 30 frames per second (fps). Japan presented their standard at an international meeting of television engineers in Algiers in 1981 and Japan's NHK presented its analog HDTV system at Swiss conference in 1983.
The NHK system was standardized in the United States as SMPTE (Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers) standard #240M in the early 1990s, but abandoned later on when it was replaced by a DVB analog standard. HighVision video is still usable for HDTV video interchange, but there is almost no equipment around to perform this function. All attempts at shoehorning in HighVision into a 6 MHz broadcast channel were mostly not successful. All attempts at using this format for terrestrial TV transmission were forsaken by the mid-1990s.
The Europeans developed HD-MAC (1250 lines, 50 Hz) as a video standard, but it never took off as a terrestrial video transmission format. HD-MAC was never designated for video interchange except by the European Broadcasting Union.
The current high definition video standards in North America were developed during the course of the advanced television process initiated by the Federal Communications Commission in 1987 at the request of American broadcasters. In essence the end of the 1980s was of deathnell for most analog high definition technologies that had developed up to that time.
1990s: DVB and the brushfire of standardization
The FCC process, led by the Advanced Television Systems Committee (ATSC) adopted a range of standards from interlaced 1080 line video (a technical descendant of the original analog NHK 1125/30fps system) with a maximum frame rate of 30 fps, and 720 line video, progressively scanned, with a maximum frame rate of 60 fps.
In the end however the DVB standard of resolutions (1080, 720, 480...) and frame rates (24, 25, 30) were adopted in conjunction with the Europeans that were also involved in the same standardization process. The FCC officially adopted the ATSC transmission standard (which included both HD and SD video standards) in 1996, with the first broadcasts on October 28, 1998.
2000s: global HDTV adoption, but standardization deteriorates
In the early 2000s it looked as if DVB would be the video standard far into the future. However, both Brazil and China have adopted non-standard video codecs (mp4, and an open source video codec) that somewhat violate the interoperability that was hoped for after decades of largely non-interoperable analog TV broadcasting. As high definition television has evolved into the mathematical representation of a video signal, and as computing power is so inexpensive these standardization issues so far have been minor.
Technical details
High definition video (prerecorded and broadcast) is defined threefold, by:
- The number of lines in the vertical display resolution. High-definition television (HDTV) resolution is 1080 or 720 lines. In contrast, regular digital television (DTV) is 480 lines (upon which NTSC is based, 480 visible scanlines out of 525) or 576 lines (upon which PAL/SECAM are based, 576 visible scanlines out of 625). However, since HD is broadcast digitally, its introduction sometimes coincides with the introduction of DTV. Additionally, current DVD quality is not high-definition, although the high-definition disc systems Blu-ray Disc and HD DVD are.
- The scanning system: progressive scanning (p) or interlaced scanning (i). Progressive scanning redraws an image frame (all of its lines) when refreshing each image. Interlaced scanning draws the image field every other line or "odd numbered" lines during the first image refresh operation, and then draws the remaining "even numbered" lines during a second refreshing. Interlaced scanning yields greater image resolution if subject is not moving, but loses up to half of the resolution and suffers "combing" artifacts when subject is moving.
- The number of frames per second or fields per second. The 720p60 format is 1280 × 720 pixels, progressive encoding with 60 frames per second (60 Hz). The 1080i50 format is 1920 × 1080 pixels, interlaced encoding with 50 fields per second. Sometimes interlaced fields are called half-frames, but they are not, because two fields of one frame are temporally shifted; video engineers use the term 'picture' instead. Frame pulldown and segmented frames are special techniques that allow transmitting full frames by means of interlaced video stream.
For commercial naming of the product, either the frame rate or the field rate is dropped, e.g. a "1080i television set" label indicates only the image resolution.[1] Often, the rate is inferred from the context, usually assumed to be either 50 or 60, except for 1080p, which denotes 1080p24, 1080p25, and 1080p30, but also 1080p50 and 1080p60 in the future.
A frame or field rate can also be specified without a resolution. For example 24p means 24 progressive scan frames per second and 50i means 25 interlaced frames per second, consisting of 50 interlaced fields per second. Most HDTV systems support some standard resolutions and frame or field rates. The most common are noted below. High-definition signals require a high-definition television or computer monitor in order to be viewed. High-definition video has an aspect ratio of 16:9 (1.78:1). The aspect ratio of regular widescreen film shot today is typically 1.85:1 or 2.39:1 (sometimes traditionally quoted at 2.35:1). Standard-definition television (SDTV) has a 4:3 (1.33:1) aspect ratio, although in recent years many broadcasters have transmitted programs "squeezed" horizontally in 16:9 anamorphic format, in hopes that the viewer has a 16:9 set which stretches the image out to normal-looking proportions, or a set which "squishes" the image vertically to present a "letterbox" view of the image, again with correct proportions.
High-definition display resolutions
A common resolution used in HD Ready LCD TV panels is 1366 × 768[2] pixels instead of the ATSC Standard 1280 × 720 pixels. This is due to maximization of manufacturing yield and resolution of VGA, VRAM that comes with a 768 pixel format. Hence, LCD manufacturers adopt the 16:9 ratio compatible for the HD Ready 1080p standard. Nevertheless, every HDTV has an overscan processing chipset to fix resolution scaling and color rendering, e.g. LG XD Engine, Sony BRAVIA Engine. Only when viewing 1080i/1080p HD contents under HD Ready 1080p where there is true pixel-for-pixel reproduction, and for HD ready LCD TV, do some signals undergo a scaling process which results in a 3-5% loss of picture. Most HD-ready CRT TVs use 1080i resolution.
HD content
High-definition image sources include terrestrial broadcast, direct broadcast satellite, digital cable, high definition disc (BD), internet downloads and the latest generation of video game consoles.
- Most computers are capable of HD or higher resolutions over VGA, DVI, and/or HDMI.
- The optical disc standard Blu-ray Disc can provide enough digital storage to store hours of HD video content. DVDs look best on screens that are smaller than 36 inches (91 cm), so they are not always up to the challenge of today's high-definition (HD) sets. To store and play HD movies, you need a disc that holds more information, like a Blu-ray Disc.
Types of recorded medium
The high resolution photographic film used for cinema projection is exposed at the rate of 24 frames per second but usually projected at 48, each frame getting projected twice helping to minimise flicker. Depending upon available bandwidth and the amount of detail and movement in the image, the optimum format for video transfer is either 720p24 or 1080p24. When shown on television in PAL system countries, film must be projected at the rate of 25 frames per second by accelerating it by 4.1 per cent. In NTSC standard countries, the projection rate is 30 frames per second, using a technique called 3:2 pull-down. One film frame is held for three video fields (1/20 of a second), and the next is held for two video fields (1/30 of a second) and then the process is repeated, thus achieving the correct film projection rate with two film frames shown in 1/12 of a second.
Older (pre-HDTV) recordings on video tape such as Betacam SP are often either in the form 480i60 or 576i50. These may be upconverted to a higher resolution format (720i), but removing the interlace to match the common 720p format may distort the picture or require filtering which actually reduces the resolution of the final output.
Non-cinematic HDTV video recordings are recorded in either the 720p or the 1080i format. The format used is set by the broadcaster (if for television broadcast). In general, 720p is more accurate with fast action, because it progressively scans frames, instead of the 1080i, which uses interlaced fields and thus might degrade the resolution of fast images.
720p is used more for Internet distribution of high-definition video, because computer monitors progressively scan; 720p video has lower storage-decoding requirements than either the 1080i or the 1080p. This is also the medium for High Definition Broadcasts around the world and 1080p is used for Blu-ray movies.
HD in filmmaking
Film as a medium has inherent limitations, such as difficulty of viewing footage whilst recording, and suffers other problems, caused by poor film development/processing, or poor monitoring systems. Given that there is increasing use of computer-generated or computer-altered imagery in movies, and that editing picture sequences is often done digitally, some directors have shot their movies using the HD format via high-end digital video cameras. Whilst the quality of HD video is very high compared to SD video, and offers improved signal/noise ratios against comparable sensitivity film, film remains able to resolve more image detail than current HD video formats. (This may change due to the introduction of a new camera called the Red camera.) In addition some film has a wider dynamic range (ability to resolve extremes of dark and light areas in a scene) than even the best HD cameras. Thus the most persuasive arguments for the use of HD are currently cost savings on film stock and the ease of transfer to editing systems for special effects. Notable directors who have used HD to a large degree thus far are: George Lucas, Michael Mann, Steven Soderbergh, and Robert Rodriguez.
Many television shows with science fiction themes and special effects such as Star Trek: Enterprise, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica have also begun to use digital cameras.
Film to high-definition transfer
Most major motion pictures are shot on film. Film is a very high resolving medium, with resolution measured by testing its ability to resolve pairs of black and white lines, the unit of measurement is cycles/mm – one "cycle" consists of a pair of lines and is equivalent to two pixels, one black and one white. Film by itself can commonly resolve from 50 c/mm to 400 c/mm (100 pixels/mm to 800 pixels/mm) depending on emulsion stock. However, since the image on film is formed by exposing it through a lens and this lens also has its own resolution limits, the final resolution on the photographed negative is always less than each component's individual resolution.
Depending on the year and format a movie was filmed in, the exposed image can vary greatly in size. Sizes range from as big as 24 mm × 36 mm for VistaVision/Technirama 8 perforation cameras (same as 35 mm still photo film) going down through 18 mm × 24 mm for Silent Films or Full Frame 4 perforations cameras to as small as 9 mm × 21 mm in Academy Sound Aperture cameras modified for the Techniscope 2 perforation format. Movies are also produced using other film gauges, including 70 mm films (22 mm × 48 mm) or the rarely used 55 mm and CINERAMA.
In the process of making prints for exhibition, this negative is copied onto other film (negative ? interpositive ? internegative ? print) causing the resolution to be reduced with each emulsion copying step and when the image passes through a lens (for example, on a projector). In many cases, the resolution can be reduced down to 1/6th of the original negative's resolution (or worse). Note that resolution values for 70 mm film are higher than those listed above.
Usually when studios master movies for home video release they use assets in high resolution and then master them to 1920 × 1080 and/or 1280 × 720. For standard definition applications (e.g., DVD or SDTV), they are also anamorphically compressed and mastered to 720 × 576 (PAL) and 720 × 480 (NTSC).
HD in video gaming
Video game systems, such as the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, can output an HD signal. The PlayStation Network and Xbox Live Marketplace services offer HD movies and video clips for download to their respective consoles.
The PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 (seventh generation video consoles) can output display resolutions up to 1080p through both component and HDMI cables. While there are only a very limited number of games available which render the picture in 1080p, all games can be automatically upscaled to this resolution. Both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 games are labeled with their output resolution on the backs of their packaging.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Pritam Not the Copy Cat But a Copy Dog
Think how he Reacts in the Tv shows and C here what he is Doing
Listen to these original songs
Dhoom song DHoom Macchale copy of Jesse Cook's 'Mario takes a walk'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Race Song Pehli Nazar copy of Chinese Kim Hyung Song Sarang Hae Yo
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Race Song Zara Zara Touch Me copy of Lee-Hom Wang's 'Zhu Lin Shen Chu'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Jab we met's 'Yeh ishq kya' copy of Anggun's Être Une Femme
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Jab We Met Aao milo chale copy Indonesian band, Peterpan's 'Di Belakangku'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Woh Lamhe 'Kya mujhe pyaar hai'copy of Indonesian Band 'Tak bisakah'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Bhool Bulaiya Halla Hafiz copy of Amr Diab's Awedony
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Dhol Dil Liya copy of Dania Khatib's 1999 hit, 'Leiley'
Original: http://www.itwofs..com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Life in a Metro song Baatein kuch ankahee copy of Korean song, 'Ah Reum Dah Oon Sa Ram' by Seo Yu Seok!
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Bhool Bhulaiyya Hare ram hare ram copy of Bill Hailey's Oriental Rock
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Life in a Metro song O Meri jaan copy of Queensryche's Silent Lucidity and Amr Diab's Ba'ed el Layali
Original 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=-
Original 2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Pyar ke side effects song Jaane kya copy of 'Mahi' by Hadiqa Kiyani
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Woh Lamhe song Chal Chale copy of a 1965 track called 'A World of our own' by the band, The Seekers
Original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
COPY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Dhoom Song DHOOM AGAIN copy of a song called 'Dudu' from Tarkan
Portions edited appropriately
Original:http://www.itwofs.
COPY: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Speed song Tikki Tikki copy of Turkish pop superstar Tarkan's 2003 hit, 'Dudu'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Agnipankh song Janmabhoomi & Zindagi hai copy of Abrar-ul-haq's 'December
Original: http://www.itwofs..com/audio/
COPY 1: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY 2: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Bhagam Bhag songs Signal & Afreen copy of Trinidadian Soca hit, 'Signal for Lara' by Superblue & Cheb Mami's 2001 track, 'Viens Habibi'
Original 1: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Original 2: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY 2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=b-
Life in a Metro In dino copy of Waqar Ali's 'Mera naam hai mohobbat'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Raqueeb songs 'Jaane kaise' copy of Amr Diab's 2003 track, 'Allem albi' and song 'Channa ve channa' copy of Pashto singer Rahim Shah.
Original 1:http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Original 2: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Copy 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Copy2:http://youtube.com/
Kya Love Story Hai Song 'Miss you everyday' Lift of Lebanese singer Karina's 2006 chartbuster 'Alatoul'
'Jab se tum mile ho' is a lift from Pakistani singer Hadiqa Kiyani's 1996 number (album: Raaz), 'Jab se tum milay ho'!
Original 1: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Original 2: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FJ_
Kya Love Story Hain song 'Deewana teri aankhon ka' copy of Black Eyed Peas' 'Bebot'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Kya Love Story Hai song Gum sum hai dil mera copy of Thai song, 'Oh la nor...my love' by Bird Thungchai.
Original: http://youtube..com/watch?v=
COPY: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Ankahee song Aa paas aa copy of Ottmar Liebert's 'Starry nite (March of Kings)
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Apna sapna money money song Dil mein baji guitar copy of song, 'Sheloha shela' by the Middle Eastern group, Miami Band
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Woh Lamhe song 'Tu Jo nahi' copy of 'Tu Jo Nahi SB John
Original:http://youtube.com/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=br_
Bas ek Pal song 'Hai ishq' copy of Yuri Mrakadi's 'Arabiyon Ana'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Pyaar Ke Side Effects song 'Is this love' copy of Paul Anka's 1969 track 'A-mi-manera'
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/A-
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Ankahee Title song copy of Boney M's 1984 track, 'Somewhere in the world'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://www.itwofs.com/
Gangster
Song 'Ya ali' copy of Arabic band Guitara's 'Ya ghaly'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
SOng 'Lamha lamha' lifted form Waris Baig's 1998 track, 'Kal shab dekha maine '
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Song 'Bheegi bheegi' lift from Mohiner Ghoraguli's Bangla jibhonmuki gaan
Original:http://youtube.com/
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Song Tu hi meri shab hai copy of 'Sacral Nirvana' by Oliver Shanti & Friends
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Copy:http://youtube.com/watch?
Ek Hasina Thi
Song Akhiyaan Na Maar copy of Pakistani singer Waris Baig's 2004 track, 'Challa'
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Song Jal Jal Ke copy of Yuri Mrakadi's 2001 track, 'Arabiyon Ana'
Original: http://youtube..com/watch?v=
COPY:http://youtube.com/watch?
Fight Club Song Chorein ki Batein copy of Pakistani singer Ali Zafar's 'Channo ki aankhen'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Ek Khiladi Ek Hasina song 'Jhoom' Lifted from Britney Spears' commercial for Pepsi, 'Joy of Pepsi'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Garam Masala
Songs 'Dil samundar' copy of Turkish singer Tarkan's 'Kuzu kuzu'
Original: http://youtube..com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Song 'Chori Chori' copy of Balwinder Safri's 'Hai rabba'
Original 1: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
Original 2: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Song'Ada' copy of song Amr Diab's Ana
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY:http://www.itwofs.com/
Dhoom song Shikdum copy of Tarkan's 'Sikidim'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Chocolate
Song 'Zahreeli raatein' copy of Jal's 'Aadat'
Original: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Song 'Bheega bheega sa' copy of Abrar-ul-Haq's 'December'
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY:http://youtube..com/
Song 'Halka halka sa' copy of 'Breeze from Saintes Maries'
Original: http://www.itwofs.com/audio/
COPY: http://youtube.com/watch?v=
Friday, August 22, 2008
Subramaniyapuram
Celebrating the spirit of rebellion
Subramaniapuram relates, in many ways, to the politics of betrayal among the best of friends and the closest of relatives.
The backlash of the early 1980s had several flagellants and heading the list was Rajnikant, the complete antithesis of everything that MGR stood for. A little later, he was joined by T Rajendar, who put an end to the soppiness of Tamil cinema, as well as a host of others such as Bharatiraja, Bhagyaraj, Balu Mahendra, Ilayaraja, and me at a later stage.
None of us knew what we were doing and the audience just lapped up whatever we showed them on the screen as long as we were critical of the hypocritical lives that we were living in the name of Dravidian pride.
Subramaniapuram is a celebration of the spirit that had rebels shouting hoarse in the 1980s under a banner called �Nothing�. It is a celebration of the embarrassment that the first post-Independence generation felt about its parents soaked in the fantasy of nationalism mixed with garbled notions of Indian/Hindu tradition. It is a celebration of a rasa called �Disgust� or Bhibatsa, an emotion that Indian dramaturgy had almost forgotten.
Never have I seen the recreation of a film�s opening day done with such aplomb and solid craftsmanship as the release of Murratukalai is depicted here. The choice of this film was apt as it epitomises counter-culture on screen and otherwise, in as many ways as possible.
This film was also known for being the most outlandish duckling that Tamil cinema had ever hatched. This was embellished by the shot constructions and the mise-en-scene by Kadhir that seemed to echo the spirit of a Pontecorvo in the Battle of Algiers or a Nicholas Ray in Rebel Without a Cause.
The detailed art direction of Rembon and the music of James Vasantham added to the richness of an era gone by in a refreshing manner. Hopefully, young makers of Tamil films will take serious note of the amazing craft and commitment that this debutant film crew and the actors have displayed and take bolder steps into the future.
That this film could have been made possible only with the active support of hundreds of �jobless� youngsters in small-town India, who must be leading as �pointless� lives as the main characters of this film, is a pointer that the young Indian is still alive and kicking. That this film is filled with so many minute details by the young M Sasikumar and his crew, who have never experienced the �80s except by watching films of the period made by mavericks of that era proves that some forces in Tamil cinema are still alive and kicking.
That thousands of viewers across the state stand up to celebrate the film today assures all of us that counter-culture, which is the essence of a healthy democracy, is still alive and kicking. Who cares if the upper crust chooses to call such folks porikis?
This film makes me aware of the shameful and disgusting times that we are living in, where the Left, Right and Centre vie with each other in exploiting a billion plus citizens with conceited deceptions of good governance. Like the lame friend, at the end of the film, I would like to pull the oxygen mask off the faces of these traitors and let the average citizen live peacefully.
My only request to Sasikumar is not to wait for the big superstars who will surely beckon him to harness his skills and commitment to abandon this fiery path that he has decided to take. He has to fasten himself to his crew members with hoops of steel and carry forward this encounter with disgust in more creative ways.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
THIGS TO KNOW
ONE OF THE POPES WROTE AN EROTIC BOOK
Before he was Pope Pius II, Aeneas Sylvius Piccolomini was a poet, scholar, diplomat, and rakehell. And an author. In fact, he wrote a bestseller. People in fifteenth-century Europe couldn’t get enough of his Latin novella Historia de duobus amantibus. An article in a scholarly publication on literature claims that Historia “was undoubtedly one of the most read stories of the whole Renaissance.” The Oxford edition gives a Cliff Notes version of the storyline: “The Goodli History tells of the illicit love of Euralius, a high official in the retinue of the [German] Emperor Sigismund, and Lucres, a married lady from Siena [Italy].”
It was probably written in 1444, but the earliest known printing is from Antwerp in 1488. By the turn of the century, 37 editions had been published. Somewhere around 1553, the short book appeared in English under the wonderfully old-school title The Goodli History of the Moste Noble and Beautyfull Ladye Lucres of Scene in Tuskane, and of Her Louer Eurialus Verye Pleasaunt and Delectable vnto ye Reder. Despite the obvious historical interest of this archaic Vatican porn, it has never been translated into contemporary language. (The passages quoted below mark the first time that any of the book has appeared in modern English.)
The 1400s being what they were, the action is pretty tame by today’s standards. At one point, Euralius scales a wall to be with Lucres: “When she saw her lover, she clasped him in her arms. There was embracing and kissing, and with full sail they followed their lusts and wearied Venus, now with Ceres, and now with Bacchus was refreshed.” Loosely translated, that last part means that they shagged, then ate, then drank wine.
His Holiness describes the next time they hook up:
Thus talking to each other, they went into the bedroom, where they had such a night as we judge the two lovers Paris and Helen had after he had taken her away, and it was so pleasant that they thought Mars and Venus had never known such pleasure…. Her mouth, and now her eyes, and now her cheeks he kissed. Pulling down her clothes, he saw such beauty as he had never seen before. “I have found more, I believe,” said Euralius, “than Acteon saw of Diana when she bathed in the fountain. What is more pleasant or more fair than these limbs?… O fair neck and pleasant breasts, is it you that I touch? Is it you that I have? Are you in my hands? O round limbs, O sweet body, do I have you in my arms?… O pleasant kisses, O dear embraces, O sweet bites, no man alive is happier than I am, or more blessed.”…
He strained, and she strained, and when they were done they weren’t weary. Like Athens,
who rose from the ground stronger, soon after battle they were more desirous of war.
But Euralius isn’t just a horndog. He waxes philosophical about love to Lucres’ cousin-in-law:
You know that man is prone to love. Whether it is virtue or vice, it reigns everywhere. No heart of flesh hasn’t sometime felt the pricks of love. You know that neither the wise Solomon nor the strong Sampson has escaped from this passion. Furthermore, the nature of a kindled heart and a foolish love is this: The more it is allowed, the more it burns, with
nothing sooner healing this than the obtaining of the loved. There have been many, both in our time and that of our elders, whose foolish love has been the cause of cruel death. And many who, after sex and love vouchsafed, have stopped burning. Nothing is better when love has crept into your bones than to give in to the burning, for those who strive against the tempest often wreck, while those who drive with the storm escape.
Besides sex and wisdom, the story also contains a lot of humor, as when Lucres’ husband borrows a horse from Euralius: “He says to himself, ‘If you leap upon my horse, I shall do the same thing to your wife.’”
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